Mark Twain Quotes


Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.


It's a small mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.


First, God created idiots. That was just for practice. Then He created school boards.


Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.


I did not go to his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.


Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.


A lie is half way around the world before the truth puts on its shoes.


It's easy to stop smoking. I done it hundreds of times.