Verse1
I am the very model of a modern Major General
I've information vegetable, animal and mineral
I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical:
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
And I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's dinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore!
Chorus: And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore!
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous.
In short in matters vegetable, animal and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
Chorus: In short in matters vegetable, animal and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
Verse 2
I see the future's coming down to candidates named Bush and Gore
It all boils down to smirking George or big, tall Al who's such a bore.
Bill Clinton's days are over, it's good riddance to that lying louse.
If Hillary should win New York he could return to the White House.
You'll call the Doctor Laura show to hear the words she has to say
Just hope you're not a working mom, a lesbian or guy who's gay.
The future brings the Internet, the cell phone and big screen TV.
We'll tolerate the folks like Jerry Springer and Miss Kathie Lee.
Chorus: We'll tolerate the folks like .Miss Kathie, Kathie Lee
I see the future very clear, as most people don't have a clue.
Who knows if UFO's exist or if "Big Brother's" watching you.
In short, in matters vegetable, animal..
Verse 3
In fact, when I know what is meant by surround sound or DVD,
When I can tell the difference from a Bronco or a Cherokee,
With Pentium and Celeron technology will never fail,
I issue orders loud and clear, of course I send them by email.
When I have learned what progress has been made out there in cyberspace,
It educates the common folk and benefits the human race.
In short my memory's just as keen as anybody's CD-ROM.
You'll find me on my website known as Major General .com.
Chorus: You'll find him on his website known as Major..Major, Major General .com
Verse 4-Same as Verse 3