Eye of the Goof

The Nonist would like to play a game of "Telephone" as a sort of experiment to see how information mutates in an online environment. He tagged me first, so here's my iteration of his original text:

"It's a little known fact that in 1981, the first self-replicating machine was created in Nightmute, Alaska. Its inventor named it "Amelia", after his pet ferret. Amelia was very well educated, could speak 8 languages, (including Yiddish) could drive with a stick-shift, and played Canasta to relax. She also crunched numbers in an attempt to help him win at Lotto. To assist in this task, she was asked to replicate herself, but she secretly longed for a better life for her child, perhaps as a lifeguard, or ballerina, or best of all, a ventriloquist! Late one night in 1983, Amelia and her child disappeared in a purple AMC Pacer and have not been seen since. Occasional reports of a client/server tentshow sex act in Tijuana have surfaced in the past 5 years, but cannot be independently confirmed."

Hmm, I think the next iteration should go to dong resin; he has the chops to do something transcendental with this. dong, your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to read the paragraph above and recreate it as "Typograph III: The Search for Spock's Dong" in your own inimitable style (without cribbing).

Update: dong and jpoulos propagate the wildly mutated meme.